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Look, I get it. I have a lot of hair. Like, a lot. My coat consists of approximately 2,000 individual cords that drape dramatically from my body, giving me the appearance of a walking cleaning implement. But I am not a mop. I am a proud Hungarian livestock guardian breed with 1,000 years of noble heritage protecting sheep from wolves.

Yet everywhere I go, the confusion reigns.

“Wake up, Mom! There’s a mop crying in the living room!” screamed a child at the park last Tuesday. I was simply yawning. My cords shifted in a way that apparently resembled polyester fibers catching morning light.

The sheep comparisons are constant. “Hello, little sheep!” tourists exclaim. I weigh 176 pounds and have a magnificent head of hair that took five years to perfect. Sheep cannot guard livestock. I can. There’s a difference.

The mop incidents are the most humiliating. I’ve been leaned against, spritzed with cleaning solution (briefly), and once—once—my own human assistant nearly put me in a closet with the household supplies. She claims it was an accident. I remain skeptical.

What people don’t understand is that my cords serve a purpose! They provide protection from the elements and predators. They’re not decorative, nor are they designed to clean your floors.

I am a Komondor. Treat me accordingly.